How we went from living in an overstuffed house to traveling the world with 2 suitcases
Marie Kondo, the Japanese woman who taught the world how to tidy, is suddenly everywhere. Her book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and her new Netflix series, Tidying Up, have converted maximalist buyers into minimalist warriors. We decided to try her method for ourselves, but we never could have predicted what would have happened.
Kondo created a unique system that incorporates fundamental organizing steps (start with the items that are easiest to discard), with a Japanese mystical respect and appreciation for everyday objects (greet your home; thank the items that you are letting go of). The KonMari Method promises that if you keep only the items in your life that spark joy, you will create space for magic.
Truth be told, when we began the KonMari Method the only life-changing magic we had in mind was being able to welcome people into our home without having to apologize for the mess. While the organizing method is famous for asking people if the items they are keeping spark joy, we weren’t looking to spark joy as much as not spark embarrassment when people came over. Not sparking arguments over where stuff belonged would be another bonus for us. Our sights were set pretty low.
A minimalist marries a maximalist
We’d been married for four years when we learned about the KonMari Method. And like most couples, we came at it from very different backgrounds. Diane’s home, pre Harv, was so neat that one friend always threw a sofa pillow on the floor when visiting to make it feel more lived in. For Diane, it was a minimalist’s paradise, even if it made visitors itch with anxiety about getting anything out of place.
Harv’s home was the recipient of the treasures of his ancestors: parents, grandparents, even great grandparents’ items were housed here. An only child, he was not a hoarder, but he took his duty as Keeper of the Family Treasures seriously. Combine that with an addiction (addiction is not too strong a word) to books and you have a house stuffed with ideas and memories and no place to sit.
Sparking joy after pain
We discovered the KonMari Method when our lives were at a staggering low. Diane’s routine surgery earlier in the year had resulted in life-threatening complications requiring three more surgeries. Finally on the mend, her job was eliminated two weeks before she was to return to work. We went from being DINKs (double income, no kids) to one income and crippling medical debt. Dazed and depressed, organizing our stuff might be the balm we needed to soothe the disorganization we felt inside.
Kondo’s method starts with sorting your clothes and only keeping the ones that give you a feeling of happiness when you hold them. You are instructed to bring every single piece of clothing in your home to one location. Yes, even the items hidden in plastic bins in the back of the closet for when you lose weight. Yes, even your winter coats although it’s summer. Yes, even the items you have in the laundry room (wash them first, please). Every. Single. Clothing. Item.
Diane was smug that her pile would be much smaller than Harv’s and totally manageable. Harv was skeptical this would have much impact on getting their home organized, but willing. And so we began gathering clothes from every corner of our home. From the second bedroom closet that was full of the extras – old clothes for working in the yard and painting; from the downstairs bedroom closet full of “someday these will fit and big, square shoulder might make a comeback” clothes; from the laundry room that contained a couple of hampers full of clean clothes that we didn’t have room for in our closets.
We put heaps of clothing on the living room floor. It came up to our knees. Both of our piles were massive. Just looking at them made us want to jump in the car, buy some chips, and go on a road trip. Anything to get away and not have to go through the ridiculously large pile of jeans and t-shirts, and dresses, and slacks, and polo shirts, and button-down shirts, and shorts, and dress pants, and coats, and workout clothes, and party clothes, and … and … and ….
Once we calmed ourselves with some potato chips and popcorn, we started in on the piles. Following Kondo’s advice, we picked up each item of clothing and asked ourselves, “Does this bring me joy?” If the answer was yes, we put it in a keep pile. If the answer was no, we thanked it for its service to us and, depending on its condition, it went in a donate or throw away pile.
Some magic starts sneaking in
Did we feel silly asking our pants if they brought us joy? Yes. Did it help us get rid of things? Yes. Using the criteria of does this spark joy made us look at our clothes more objectively, which made those that did not make us smile easier to discard. Expressing gratitude made it easier again. Especially when we thought about how some of these items might spark joy for others. Diane had about a dozen t-shirts and none of them looked good on her. They were easy to give away. Then she came to her wedding gown. Spark joy? Absolutely! Practical? Not so much. But she’s not willing to let it go yet. She is considering cutting it down and saving just the top half. For some items, it is a work in process.
It took a full eight hours (punctuated by cries of despair, more snacks, and a pizza) to get through the two clothing piles. When finished we had eleven large bags full of donations and three headed to the garbage can. We were tired but elated. We felt lighter and happier and so did our house. Was a bit of that magic sneaking in?
Saving clothes for some day
Next, we grouped what we had left by categories: t-shirts, polo shirts, jeans, etc. We were shocked by the amount of duplicates we owned. We would never have realized that if we had not brought all of the clothing together in one spot. It seems pointless, but it’s genius.
Harv owned five nearly identical flannel shirts simply because Diane likes the way he looks in them and buys him one every fall. They all looked new, they all brought joy, but until he learns how to wear more than one at a time, he only needs one. (Note from Diane: OK, we kept two. But he looks so darn handsome in them.)
Another reason we had duplicates is sometimes we couldn’t find what we needed because the items had become buried somewhere in the house. (We’re looking at you, swim trunks). When we finished weeding out duplicates, we had three more bags of donations.
What went in the trash was the ratty old clothing we were saving for when we did yard work or painted. Because in truth we never got that dirty when we did yard work and we don’t paint that often. Why stuff our closets with clothing that may be useful someday? Once we started letting clothes go, it become addictive. All those shirts and pants that may come back in style some day? Donated. Maybe somebody who wants to party like it’s 1999 will find a use for them at Halloween.
We finished by following the KonMari Method for folding clothes so they stand up in the drawer and everything can be seen at once. A revelation! Hanging clothes went back in the closet sorted by color, weight, and length. We like light to dark for visual appeal, so we now hang clothes in this order: white sleeveless shirts first, followed by white short-sleeved shirts, followed by white long-sleeved shirts, etc. Again, by seeing everything at once, is it easy to see where you have duplicates.
The 5 steps of the KonMari Method
Books are next according to Kondo, but Harv wasn’t ready yet, so we skipped to the third category, papers. This one was painful, too, and felt more overwhelming than clothes. Same instructions: Bring all of your paperwork into one place to be sorted. More gnashing our teeth, more anguish, more pizza, but we got through it. And we weren’t done yet. Komono or miscellaneous items were next. This includes everything from CDs and DVDs, kitchen utensils, bedding and towels, pots and pans and home décor to serving trays, throw pillows, and light bulbs and batteries.
The final category is sentimental items. Harv, whose home was the repository of his parents’ lives, dreams, and aspirations, had to make tough decisions about what to keep and what to let go.
Forging new pathways together
Amidst all of our organizing drama, we realized that Diane’s medical bills were going to break us unless we did something drastic. Two years prior we had purchased a vacation home in the mountains. We rented it out on Airbnb so it wasn’t costing us anything, but we didn’t have much equity in it either, so selling it wouldn’t bring us the money we needed. Harv’s job had recently gone entirely online, so the decision was clear: To avoid bankruptcy we needed to sell the home we were living in, Harv’s childhood home, and move to the mountains.
That realization pushed Operation KonMari into high gear for us. Deciding to get rid of so many family treasures was not easy for Harv, but a quote from Kondo made it more tolerable:
“The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past.”
Sickness, job loss, and debt had completely changed the course of our lives in a few, short months. We were becoming new people with new dreams and goals. Being Keeper of the Family Treasures was not as important as getting out from under the mental stress that debt caused us. We needed to forge new pathways as a couple.
The KonMari Method enabled us to get our home ready to sell while the market was hot. Thanks to our amazing real estate agent, our home sold quickly for above the asking price. We packed up what was left in the house and moved to the mountains.
A promise remembered
That should have cut out the mountain home as a revenue source for us, but thanks to KonMari, it didn’t. Because we brought the KonMari Method to our mountain home, we are able to pack all of our personal items into the closets and still offer it as a short-term rental when we want to travel.
And we remembered a promise that we had made to each other many nights ago in Diane’s hospital room: that once she was healthy, we would dance at the Eiffel Tower.
Less stuff, more travel became more than a motto; we turned it into a way of life.
In February 2018 we packed two suitcases and headed to Europe and the Eiffel Tower. And because we rent out our home when we’re away, we actually make more money when we travel then if we stay at home. In 11 months we have visited seven countries. We are living a life we couldn’t have even imagined a few years ago.
Now it’s time to go home. After almost a full year of traveling with only two suitcases, we realize how very little we need in the way of material things to be happy. We are forever grateful to Marie Kondo and the KonMari Method because, for us, tidying up did bring with it life-changing magic. And we’re planning our next travel adventures.
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Ann says
I love this piece! Truthfully I love all of your blogs, but this one’s really great—especially the humor and the vulnerability. I tweeted it.
Diane Bishop says
Thanks, Ann! It’s been an amazing journey!
Robyn Berry says
Loved this. Don & I could really raise the vibration around here by doing this. I can’t believe this part of the journey is coming to a close. Mind you Abby says THIS PART! You will go again for sure now that you know your favorite locations!! What date do you arrive back here? Can’t wait to hug you both. ❤️😘😍
Diane Bishop says
Our favorite location is wherever we are right now. So happy that Abby says we are coming back! I’d be happy to help you get started with KonMari. It’s addicting!
Sandra Reay says
love, love, love your style of writing! Always have, always will!
Diane Bishop says
Thank you, Sandra! Your kind words mean the world to me!
Kathryn says
Wow. Just WOW!
Who would have ever imagined ANY of this in your “before minimalism” life!
It’s beautiful. It’s stunning. It’s gobsmacking, since you’re in London as we speak
!
Your lives reflect your love and your healing on all levels reflects your commitment to live your truth in beauty and joy. I’m so proud of you; happy for you; thrilled for your monumental breakthroughs and claiming your wildest dreams; your truest, authentic selves. Such wonder and magic could not have come to you any other way.
I love what you named your blog, but it also could be known as “Taking Your Love on the Road”, by Diane & Harvey Bishop!!
I celebrate your spectacular vision!!
xo yo custer
Diane Bishop says
Thank you, my Custer! It has been a year filled with wonder and magic. We are so grateful!
Lisa Nortman says
You look like you are having the time of your life. Wish I could be in Vienna with you – that is one of my favorite churches! I too could use a little bit of- or maybe a lot of reorganization in my life. These are all great ideas!
Diane Bishop says
We got off at the wrong station and were trying to find our way to a museum when we came across that stunning church. It’s always an adventure to get lost in a new city.
Shelley says
Loved this!! I have been watching the TV show and although I have only done clothes I plan on doing everything eventually. It’s such a great conscious way to live. I love the magic you have created.
Diane Bishop says
Thanks, Shelley! If you’ve done clothes you are ahead of most people! Never thought of it that way but you are absolutely right; it is a wonderful, conscious way to live.
Trine Handskemager says
That Marie Kondo girl is awesome. We don’t need all that stuff anyway. All we need is to be present in the now – and a nice beach ;o)
Greetings from Denmark
Trine / Miss-World.dk
Diane Bishop says
Denmark is on our bucket list!
Trine Handskemager says
That is nice to hear! The best time to visit Denmark is from start june to late august.
Let me know if you decide to come.
Meg says
You guys are really living the dream. I love taking short-term jobs so I can travel, but I can only dream about full-time traveling life!